The Maltese Rabbit

SURE, a big shot gave me a beating but I grew up in a housing commission sardine can where we all ate beatings for breakfast. Besides, there’s one thing I do know by rote, straight dope Boss Morrison can’t regurgitate like a mug ibis vomiting up a bottle top: how much hate I have left and, brother, it’s plenty. I poured myself one more Berocca. The tablet fizzed, bobbed and rocked in rhythm with the neon sign of the Thai joint across the street before rising to the top. The orange ascendancy spoke to me more than any beating. It was a cold night in Marrickville even without the China ’flu chills. I yearned for a cot as I walked to the door. “Tony Albanese, PI” in gold leaf. Would that I was. As I put on my coat and thought of slugging Dick Marles for painting my name on the wrong side of the pane, the phone rang. A dame was missing. Aren’t they always?

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21 Responses to The Maltese Rabbit

  1. Tintarella di Luna says:

    The snarling corgi’s tale brought me to nausea. The snarling corgi, Graceless Grace and PieFace what a trio. Sorry but I’m not buying the BS

  2. Petros says:

    I want to hear more of this tale please. What’s happened to this dame? Do I have to wait until next week’s episode?

  3. NoFixedAddress says:

    @Petros, I think C.L. will do an Omar Khayyám on us!

    “The Currency Lad’s Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
    Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

    ― Omar Khayyám

  4. Buccaneer says:

    It obviously wasn’t that personal a question from Tame, as there is no mention of Thai massages or inquiries about whether he can be certain he’s not contributed to ‘modern slavery’…

  5. cuckoo says:

    More like Charley Farley and Piggy Malone. Surely this is Albanese’s ‘fishnet stocking’ moment.

  6. Riversutra says:

    A dame was missing. Aren’t they always?

    What’s actually missing is a trail date for her accomplice in misandry Brittany Higgins.
    Ms Higgins, local Canberran fond of alcohol, has now filled a formal complaint that the prosecution has provided the defence with her statements. Oh, the inhumanity.
    The trial is supposedly scheduled for June but as they say, believe it when you see it.
    It sure as hell wasn’t going to be held during the election campaign.

  7. rosie says:

    Move over, Mickey Spillane.

  8. Baba says:

    Albo’s mother was a gender diverse woman? A trans woman? In 1963? Respect.

  9. Roger W says:

    So, why has Albo benched Ms P? (paywall)

  10. C.L. says:

    The benching of Tanya Plibersek during the campaign has got many wondering: when exactly did the MP for Sydney fall foul of Labor leader Anthony Albanese? Representing neighbouring electorates in inner-city Sydney, the left faction colleagues debuted in parliament around the same time (Albo in ’96, Plibo in ’98), and they formed a unity ticket on many issues back in the day, especially on LGBTI law reform.

    Labor HQ denied Plibo had been benched, but given her star power, her comparative lack of visibility does seem hard to deny. So when did the cracks open up?

    Party insiders suggested the two drifted apart when Plibo was deputy Labor leader to Bill Shorten (“Shorto” from here on in), while others suggested Albo might be concerned she’s just that little bit too popular, an Aussie Jacinda Ardern if you will.

    Campaign Confidential notes the charismatic MP for Sydney remains favourite to become opposition leader after the election, should Labor lose. (We also note odds are now being offered on Jason Clare becoming Labor leader, after some impressive recent press conferences. Keep your eye on the Bolter from Blaxland, that’s our tip.)


    David Mills, Daily Telegraph

  11. Baba says:

    Maybe Albo knows Tanya got the lowdown from Carmel?

  12. rosie says:

    Meanwhile Kevni’s on the campaign trail.

  13. local oaf says:

    Maybe she’s decided to stay hidden while elbow proves to everyone what a hapless moron he is.
    Plibs then miraculously appears as a more desirable option as labor leader.

  14. Bruce of Newcastle says:

    Ms Tame seems to be auditioning for the ALP Mean Girls Club.
    Senate seat soon?

  15. C.L. says:

    Wong has apparently raised the possibility with her.

  16. and says:

    The Maltese Rabbit

    More like The Albanian Chook.

  17. and says:

    The Albanian Chook that made the Maltese Cross

  18. and says:

    … The Road

  19. Ed Case says:

    Is that Plibersek or Fran Kelly?
    Labor’s Strategy appears to be:
    Let’s ride into Minority Government on the coattails of the Teal Independents.
    Not saying it won’t work, just that it’s pathetic.

  20. and says:

    … Dress

  21. Entropy says:

    local oaf says:
    29 April, 2022 at 10:56 am
    Maybe she’s decided to stay hidden while elbow proves to everyone what a hapless moron he is.
    Plibs then miraculously appears as a more desirable option as labor leader


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