Peak Foil

DRIVING along the home stretch later than usual this evening, I wanted to get some cigarettes but noticed my local Kwik-E-Mart was already closed. That meant I had to do something all partakers truly dread. No, I don’t mean quit. I mean buy a packet from a servo. Darts are unspeakably steep at supermarkets but at petrol stations they’re pricier than Cubans (the people as well as the cigars). Smokers who aren’t James Packer only resort to this when they’re drunk – servo cigs being cousins only once removed from kebabs that way – but I haven’t been a taxi-carted, intoxicated tearaway craving nightcap nicotine for yonks.

Anyway, I figured as long as I didn’t make a habit of it, splashing out this once wouldn’t hurt much more than usual. So I drove in, topped up the tank with 20 dollars’ worth and then strolled in to what must be the latest, flashest iteration of the old golden fleece. The cashier was of sub-continental extraction and had a proprietor’s mien. “Win Gold 20s too, please,” I said. He pressed the cash register’s buttons, an absurd total was displayed and he awaited a tap. In the Old Days, tall rows of beautifully boxed Camels and Johnny Players were as visible behind counters as Kama Sutras for children now are at Big W. Only after I paid did Winfields fall from the drab cabinet of unseeable (but taxable) taboos into a drawer beneath. Handing them over almost magnanimously, Vijay explained the new system prevented tobacco walk-offs.

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15 Responses to Peak Foil

  1. Petros says:

    Go on, tell us how much.

  2. and says:

    Go on, tell us how much.

    Are there now facilities in store to take out a personal loan to buy a pack of cigs?

    Thanks to the crooks of Canbra.

  3. calli says:

    Vijay the drug dealer. Probably easier (and cheaper) to buy a spliff.

    He sells petrol too – a very dodgy character.

    I used to wear a Camel t-shirt in my miss-spent youth. Looked nice with the Levis. These days I’d be frowned upon as if I flaunted a mink collar and matching jaunty cap.

  4. Memoryvault says:

    Fellow addicts look around. Somewhere near you, but not in a major shopping centre, you will find a friendly Lebanese “tobacconist” who will sell you decent cigs at the right price.

    I’m smoking Marlboro Gold at $16 a packet, or $150 a carton.

    Peter S

  5. bollux says:

    Good to see there are still a few prosperous people around who can afford cigarettes. I had to move to cocaine.

  6. Shy Ted says:

    Word on the street is small Asian supermarkets have under the counter tobacco products if you ask nicely and don’t look like gummint.

  7. C.L. says:

    If America really wants to wage a just war (for a change), it should defend its own border and kill cartel leaders.

  8. C.L. says:

    What I found telling was that servos are prepared to risk a drive-off for insurable fuel but they’re taking no risks with tobacco – because it’s far, far more expensive. No wonder drug gangs are flocking to this country. And the way booze is going up, moonshine rackets and raids are only a matter of time.

  9. NFA says:

    Memoryvault says:
    8 August, 2023 at 10:43 am

    Fellow addicts look around. Somewhere near you, but not in a major shopping centre, you will find a friendly Lebanese “tobacconist” who will sell you decent cigs at the right price.

    I’m smoking Marlboro Gold at $16 a packet, or $150 a carton.

    Peter S

    So, support your local imported crime gang instead of your local communist Politician, MV?

  10. NFA says:

    I have audited/checked bonded tobacco stores.

    It is communist government filth what is being done.

  11. NFA says:

    Taxation is a crime against people.

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